What was I thinking? I blew all my money going to the movies and not saving any for my big premier party to kick off JEFFREY THE SERIES! Oh cheese and crackers! Now what?! Even lesser talented people have big launch parties!? I’m sure somewhere some low-rent actor is walking down a red carpet with paparazzi’s all clamoring to get the best picture! I don’t even have a red throw rug (sigh)! Something needs to change?!

After all, who would I invite to my fabulous ‘coming out’ so to speak? All the C and D-Listers? Well, that’s not me! I’m going to be the next big thing since the comeback of the Hostess Twinkies! You wait. I will be rubbing elbows with George Clooney and Ellen DeGeneres in no time at all.

But, even though I won’t get my big launch party, I know that my monies are being spent wisely on … ME! Even if it means I end up on some off-ramp with a double decker shopping cart singing show-tunes for tips!

At least The Advocate Magazine’s online site advocate.com is premiering my web-series today. And then for the rest of the world on our site Jeffreytheseries.com on January 28th.

Let’s get my star on Hollywood Boulevard all polished and prepped. Everything’s coming up JEFFREY!!

What is up with that wonderful person who’s always standing so close to that horrible woman Michele Bachmann!  He’s a snappy dresser and by his mannerisms I can tell he’s a friend of Dorothy’s!  Hello rainbow warrior!  I’m having fantasy dreams about this guy!  This person the right age for Jeffrey!!  I’m not looking for the perfect person, but mercy, I haven’t seen that much mincing since Thanksgiving Pie! 

Someone told me his name is Marcus!  What a butch name!  Marcus!  He must be her hairdresser or her makeup artist.  And believe me … she needs a professional with all that hate spilling forth from her huge pores!  Just imagine how much Oil of Olay that woman goes through just to tame those crazy laugh lines.  And believe me, nothing is that freakin’ funny! That poor Marcus having to stand there with that awful witch…and to think she believes in reparative therapy for us gays! 

Puh-leeze!  Jeffrey is NOT in need of repair!  Well, maybe a nip and tuck later down the road, but repair?! Never!  How did Ms. Bachmann ever get elected?  Isn’t there a competency test in Minnesota?  She needs an updated history book as well … something besides that Bible she’s always misquoting!  Jeezy-peezy … she gets me all upset just thinking about how she is so 10 millenniums ago!  And to think, she’s holding back my Marcus from being a star! 

Oh, I could just watch Marcus forever!  He’s movements are so fluid and his hand gestures so wispy!  His body just screams modern dance & jazz hands!  I bet he loves musical theater as much as I do!  Just the type of man that my heart goes pitter-patter for!  Marcus and Jeffrey forever!  When will I get to meet this man of my dreams?! 

To think that at the youthful age of……

well, let’s just say mid-life Fabulousness, they had the nerve to downsize my entire unit!   Obviously, the head of the department must have had a brain aneurism to include me in the layoffs.  I was the best thing since toast that they ever had there.  It must have been that snarky new HR lady.  You know the kind always walking as if she’s sniffing the air to locate any lost children.  It’s totally their loss and my gain!  Of course unemployment only lasts a little while, but I can do this!

And now Jeffrey’s looking at endless possibilities. At my age I just can’t get out there and beat the pavement and compete with the other loser pavement beaters!  Not this time.  This is the universes way of telling Jeffrey to get off his butt and follow his dream!  But, which dream?!  Jeffrey has so many of them.

Well, in order to make this happen Jeffrey will have to start thinking outside the cubicle.  Broaden his horizons!  Embark on a huge adventure.  Go where no 55 year old has gone before.  Ooooooo, I can already feel the creative juices flowing through my body, I’ve got that tingly feeling from my head to my toe.  You know, like when you use the medicated Head and Shoulders as your body wash!
Jeffrey will not let negativity pull him down!  Onward and upwards!